Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Atlanta: A place only a native could love!!!!

This is for anyone who lives in Atlanta, ever has lived in Atlanta, has visited Atlanta, ever plans to visit Atlanta, knows anyone who lives in Atlanta, knows anyone who has ever visited Atlanta or anyone who has ever heard of Atlanta, Georgia!

All directions start with "go down Peachtree" and include the phrase "when you see the Waffle House" except that in Cobb County all directions begin with " go to the big chicken".

'Peachtree Street' has no beginning and no end, and is not to be confused with Peachtree Circle, Peachtree Place, Peachtree Lane, Peachtree Road, Peachtree Parkway, Peachtree Run, Peachtree Trace, Peachtree Avenue, Peachtree Commons, Peachtree Battle, Peachtree Coners, New Peachtree, Old Peachtree or Peachtree Industrial Boulevard.

Atlanta is the home of 'Coca-cola' and that's all we drink, so don't ask for any other soft drink unless it's coca-cola. And even then it's still a "coke".

It's impossible to go around a block and wind up on the street you started on.

The 8:00 am rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 am. The 5:00 pm rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:30 pm. Fridays rush hour starts on Thursday afternoon, and lasts through 2:00 am Saturday.

A native can only pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue, so do not attempt the Spanish pronunciation. Poeple will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you. (The Atlanta pronounciation is "Pahnss duh LEE-on").

If a single snow flake falls, the entire city will be paralyzed for three days, and it's on all the channels as a news falsh every 15 minutes for a month. All the grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water and tiolet paper. If there is a remote chance of snow, and if it does snow, poeple will be on the corners selling "I survived the blizzard" tee-shirts, not to mention that all schools will close at the slightest possible chance of snow.

The pollen count is off the national scale for unhealthy, which starts at 120! Atlanta is usually in the 2,000 to 4,00 range. All the roads, vehicles, houses, ect. are yellow from March to July.

If you have any allergies you will die.

But other than that, it's a great place to live!!!!

Things about Georgia:

1. Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
2. There are 5,000 types fo snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Georgia, plus a couple that no one has ever heard of before.
4. Squirrels will eat anything!!!!
5. It is not a 'shopping cart'. It is a 'buggy'.
9. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
10. 'Fixinto' is one word.
11. Backwards and forwards means 'I know everything avout you'
12. 'Jeet' is actually a phrase meaning"Did you eat"

You know you're from Georgia if:

1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You've ever had to switch from 'heat' to A/C' in one day.
3. You use 'fix' as a verb. Example: I'm fixing to go to the store'
4.You install security lights on you house and garage and leace both unlocked.
5. You carry jumper cables in your car. For your OWN car.
6. You find 100 degrees "a little warm"
7. You know all four seasons; almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.
8. You know whether another Georgian is from the north, south or middle Georgia, the moment they open their mouth.
9. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time, known as "goin' wally martin"
10. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop... it's a coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: "What kinda coke do ya want?"

Well, I hope y'all enjoyed my slightly exaggerated look at the wonderful place where I live!!
Have a blessed day!
Beth and Maud


Livvy said...

LOL! I know what you mean. I was reading in a catalog the other day about how "Fall is in all its glory". I felt hot the rest of the day. ;)

By the way, do you mind if we use the photo you took of my mom at Callaway?

God Bless!
~Olivia P.

The Hagen Family said...

Hilarious Beth!! Ya'll should write a book. You could call it the 'Manditory Goergia Survival Guidline'.
Sure do miss ya'll and hope ya'll can come down for a visit soon.
Love Ya'll,

P.S. What does one do if they don't like reg. coke, will they be sued for violating Goergia laws. LOL.

BB said...

YEA for GA!!!!!!! I luv this here place!!!! And I sure do luv you too Beth darlin'!

Lauren said...

Hilarious! I know exactly what you mean. My family goes to Atlanta every other month or so for appointments for my baby sister, so we know exactly what you mean. In fact, last time my whole family was there, we ran into quite a problem with directions involving "Peachtree." Most of the other things apply to SC, too, so I can definitely identify! Now Alaska, where I am now? It's a little different. Just slightly. Expecting snow here fairly soon! The snowline is moving down the mountains slowly but surely, and the leaves are falling left and right! What fun!


sami said...

I LOVE GA!!!!!!


Campana Family said...

Ha HA!!!!!
The Campana's